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澳洲中小学写作:告别直白:写作里如何“展示”情绪?

在日常写作中,我们常常需要表达角色的情绪,而优秀的情绪描写可以将文章的情感层次提升一个台阶。不再简单地说“他很生气”或“她很开心”,而是通过细腻的语言与场景将情绪“展现”出来,使读者能更深刻地感受到故事中的喜怒哀乐。

这正是“show not tell”的关键所在。在今天的文章中,我们将通过几个生动的例子,帮助你在英文写作中更自然地呈现各种情绪。

😢 Sad / Upset 伤心 / 难过

Telling:
He was sad.
他很难过。

Showing Option 1:
He stared out the window, raindrops sliding down the glass like tears. His shoulders drooped, and he hugged his knees to his chest without saying a word.

他望着窗外,雨滴像泪水一样滑落在玻璃上。他的肩膀垂着,抱着膝盖一言不发。

Showing Option 2:
Her head rested on her arms at the kitchen table, eyes puffy and red. The steam rising from her untouched tea curled away into the cold air, leaving behind only silence.

她的头靠在厨房桌上的手臂上,双眼红肿。杯中冒出的热气渐渐散入寒冷的空气,留下的只是沉默。

Showing Option 3:
The laughter in his voice had vanished. He spoke slowly, each word heavier than the last, his hands fidgeting with the edge of his sleeve as if searching for comfort.

他声音中的笑意消失了。他说话缓慢,每个字都比上一个字更沉重,他的手不停地摸着衣袖的边缘,仿佛在寻找一种安慰。

Happy / Excited 开心 / 兴奋

Telling:
She was happy.
她很开心。

Showing Option 1:
She skipped across the playground, her laughter ringing like bells. Her ponytail bounced with every step, and her eyes gleamed with joy.

她蹦蹦跳跳地穿过操场,笑声像铃铛一样清脆悦耳。每跳一步她的马尾就轻轻晃动,眼中闪烁着喜悦的光。

Showing Option 2:
His grin stretched from ear to ear, and his eyes lit up as if he’d just discovered a hidden treasure. Every word he spoke came out in a rush, brimming with excitement.

他的笑容从耳朵边绽放开来,眼睛里像刚发现了隐藏的宝藏。每句话都急匆匆地说出来,充满了兴奋。

Showing Option 3:
Her face glowed, her cheeks flushed with delight. She clapped her hands together, then spun around, a burst of laughter escaping before she could stop it.

她的脸容光焕发,脸颊因喜悦而微微泛红。她拍了拍手,随即转了个圈,没来得及阻止自己便放声笑了出来。

😠 Angry 生气

Telling:
He was angry.
他很生气。

Showing Option 1:
His fists were clenched so tight his knuckles turned white. He took deep breaths through his nose, and his eyes were locked in a hard, fiery glare.

他的拳头握得死死的,指关节都变白了。他用鼻子深呼吸,眼神如火般凶狠地盯着前方。

Showing Option 2:
Her voice was sharp, each word like a crack of a whip. She slammed her hand on the table, making the glasses rattle as her face flushed with fury.

她的声音锐利,每一个字都像鞭子的响声。她重重拍了一下桌子,震得杯子叮当作响,脸上充满了愤怒。

Showing Option 3:
His jaw tightened, and his nostrils flared as he paced the room. Each step was quick and sharp, his boots thudding against the floor like thunder.

他的下巴绷紧,鼻孔微微张开,他在房间里踱步。每一步都又快又急,他的靴子在地板上砰砰作响,如同雷声。

😨 Scared 害怕

Telling:
She was scared.
她很害怕。

Showing Option 1:
She backed into the corner, her hands covering her mouth to muffle a gasp. Her wide eyes flicked toward every sound, and her legs trembled like leaves in the wind.

她退到了角落,用双手捂住嘴,压住快要脱口而出的惊呼。她的眼睛紧盯着每一个响动,双腿像风中的树叶一样颤抖。

Showing Option 2:
Her breath came in short, shallow bursts as she pressed her back against the wall. Her fingers clutched the fabric of her skirt, twisting it tightly.

她靠着墙,呼吸急促而浅短。她的手指紧紧抓住裙子的布料,将它拧得紧紧的。

Showing Option 3:
His heart raced as he crept toward the door. Each creak of the floorboards made him freeze, his eyes darting around the room, seeking a place to hide.

他的心跳加速,轻手轻脚地走向门口。每一声地板的咯吱响都让他僵住不动,眼睛四处张望,寻找藏身之处。

通过细致的场景描写与生动的细节,我们可以更自然地传达角色的情绪,使文章更具感染力。下次写作时,不妨尝试在描述情绪时多用一些“展示”的方法。希望今天的内容能为你的写作增色,让每一个情感瞬间都跃然纸上。

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